Gone With Your Step
by YouCouldBeHappyy
Summary: Everyone she's ever loved has died. She knows the tricks. Some may call her a slut. She been through everything, so it doesn't break her heart.
1. Chapter 1

Oh great. Here I go. Another day, another school. The Degrassi sign was on a constant stare-down with me. Cute guy at two o'clock. Well, for sure I'm going to get in his pants.

Oh yeah, I think I should tell you about myself. I'm Amanda Hope McDonald.

And, everyone I love…die or get taken away. You see these examples.

#1: My mother got taken to jail when I was merely 9 months old for multiple accusations of DUI's, drug abuse, drug dealing, domestic violence, so on and so forth. I see her on my birthday for 20 minutes. We have no idea when she's going to get out of that hell house.

#2: After my mom went to jail, my dad got a new wife; Callie. Along with Callie came her younger brother; Ethan. Callie took care of me more than my father could. She'd brush my hair, cook me supper, read magazines with me, and take me shopping. I actually started calling her mom after 3 months of her moving in. At this time, I was 12 years old. Ethan was 14. My brother Mark was 16, so he quickly befriended Ethan. About 4 months after they moved in, something awful happened. It was a rainy day and my father and Callie were on a date. Mark went to a friend's house, so that left Ethan and I alone. I made myself some Mac and cheese and watched a movie. Halfway through the movie, Ethan yelled and said that there was something cool in his room, and he wanted me to come and, "check it out" I walked down the hallway and took a right to his room. I didn't see anything out of the ordinary until Ethan locked the door. At that moment, I knew something was going to go wrong. He wrestled me on the bed, took off me clothes and raped me. Right after that I took a shower, and put my pajamas on and continued to watch the rest of my movie, as Ethan told me to. At that moment, Mark came home because his friend got the flu, and he didn't want to catch it. Right when I saw Mark's foot, I ran up to him, hugged him, and started crying. Eventually, I told Mark, and my dad, and Callie. Callie was so shocked with the news, she jumped off a bridge. It seems all dramatic, but it was true. She couldn't handle that her own brother that she helped raised had caused me so much harm. My father quickly banished Ethan from ever coming back. Mark always said he thought it was his fault for going to his friend's house that night.

#3: About a year and a half after all of that, I got a new kid in my class. Name: Dylan. He was "super cute" and I had to have him. When I finally got him, we decided that we wanted to have sex. At first, the idea scared me shitless. But after knowing him for a while, I trusted him. I'm not going to say that everything was perfect that time, because it wasn't. Although, if you compare it to my first time, it was way better than anything I've ever experienced. We did it about 3 more times, and then the big shocker came along. I was pregnant. I didn't tell my father. I told Mark. Mark looked so scared. He knew my father would go nuts if he knew. You see, because he got abusive and non-sober after Callie died. It sounds weird enough, but I loved the little thing inside of me. I had someone to care about. And I had someone to _love._ 5 months into my pregnancy, it turned for the worst. I woke up to pee in the middle of the night, and it was all blood. I woke up Mark, and he drove me to the hospital, while I sat on towels so I didn't bleed on his seat. I'll save all the gory details and just say that I had a miscarriage.

#4: On my and Dylan's 1st year anniversary; we were going to a movie. His mom insisted on driving him, but I had my job, so we had to drive in separate cars. I waited at the movie theater…and waited…and waited. He never showed up. I called his phone about 80 times. No answer. After waiting at the theater for 2 hours, I went home. Then at 9:27pm, I got a call from an unknown number. I answered, and it was Dylan's aunt. Dylan was in a car accident and died from the impact of a truck slamming into the passenger side of his mom's car. In the car, they found a box. In that box came a ring. One that said, "I promise" Obviously, it was a promise ring. They also found a paper that said, "Amanda, I promise to you my love for the rest of my life." On his hand was also, a promise ring. To this day, I never take that ring off.

#5: When I was 16, Mark was almost 20 and still living at home because he thought college was a waste of time. One night Mark brought home a girl. Her name: Faith. She was beautiful. She cared for me. When she moved in with Mark, I couldn't be happier. She was the only mother figure I had in about 4 years. One night, they went out and drank. Now, the hostess of this party decided to have a rock throwing contest in their pond. Now, you may be thinking, "oh yeah, Faith is going to die because someone hit her with a rock" Not even close. A once close friend of mine in 5th grade, Simon, was at that party. Drunk as drunk can be, and he had a gun. Fully loaded. He thought it would be funny to shoot the people that threw a rock. Mark threw the first one, and like that, my brother was gone. Faith reportedly screamed, and Simon thought she was way too loud, and shot her too.

In four years, I got raped, my loving step-mother died, my baby died, my boyfriend died, my brother died, and his girlfriend died.

My father is never sober. I repeat, never. My father turned to alcohol for his troubles. I turned to sex. Recently, we moved because I got in a fight with this girl at my school because she made a snarky remark about me.

Degrassi is this new place.

I'm not scared.

I haven't been scared since I stopped loving people.


	2. Chapter 2

"Well, I suppose I can't just stand here all day." I thought to myself. I looked down at my clothes to make sure everything was in place. Black flats, white skinny jeans, and a dark purple blouse that showed j_ust enough _cleavage. You could majorly see my black lace bra but, who cares. I started walking up the steps when I saw two groupies staring at me on the side. They both hurried and stood in front of me.

"What are you guys, some welcoming committee?" I asked, raising one eyebrow.

"No, nothing like that. We were just discussing over there that we've never seen you around. So, obviously, you must be new." The one on my left said.

"Obvious." I repeated, without the _ly. _I could tell the left one without doubt saw my bra was somewhat out.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I forgot to introduce myself. "He stuttered, almost like coming awake after a trance. "I'm Dave Turner."He stuck his hand out. I shook it, like normal humans do. He held a smile towards my face.

The right guy started to talk, "And I'm Connor Deslauriers."

"And since we are all swapping names here, my name is formally Amanda Hope McDonald. But, call me whatever you'd like. And if you call me something I don't like, then you're going to get a butt whooping." Dave looked excited about that. "Well, Dave and Connor, do you mind directing me towards the principal's office. That's what the lady on the phone said I needed to do when I got here." I questioned. Hey, it was better then having to look stupid and ask everyone where the office is.

"It'll be my pleasure." Dave stuck out his hand palm up, and bowed ever so slightly. I placed my hand in his and walked up the rest of the stairs. I slipped my hand out of his once I reached the top. I can not be seen holding hands with a guy. First sign of the L-bomb.

When Connor opened the door and I strutted in, I felt like everyone was staring at me. They probably were, and I know why, but it didn't bother me as much as my flats. They were literally digging into my skin.

"Whatever, pain is beauty." I thought. My friend once said that to me. Back when we were 13 and having a sleepover at her house because mine wasn't a safe place to call home to any outsiders. The girl was doing my hair when she said that. About 5 weeks after that sole sleepover, she moved away. Her parents were divorced, and her dad's side was moving to somewhere in Oregon. She still came back every summer to stay at her mom's. I can't say that I loved that girl. She was nice to me, and I was nice to her. Common grounds for friendship.

"Aha! You must be Amanda!" A man in a suit nearly shouted.

"I'm guessing you're the principal?" I said with a little worry in my face.

"Yes, Mr. Simpson to be correct. I'm glad that you're joining us, Amanda." He smiled.

I noticed the guy alongside him. Black hair that stood straight up and swayed a little bit to the left.

"Mr. Simpson, since I'm going to be here a while, I should tell you that I prefer to be called Lo. Lola was my grandmother's name." I stated.

"Alright. Thanks for telling me." He patted my shoulder. "Oh yes, and this is our president, Sav Bhandari."

"Hi. Welcome to our school." He shook my hand. I started to wonder how much shaking my right hand would get today. Sav dazzled a smile, and I realized that he had gorgeous eyes. "Since I am the president, then I must have the honor of escorting you around here."

"Thanks." I simply said. I looked around to see that Dave and Connor must have wandered off somewhere. Pshh, like I required them hanging around me.

"Do you have your schedule?" He asked me as we started gradually walking.

"Ummm…" I reached in my back pocket and pulled it out of its resting place. "Yep."

"Good. I don't need it, because _I _have a replica of my own." He smiled, almost like he thought he was amazingly funny for making me retrieve a piece of paper, like a dog and a Frisbee. I was polite about laughing along with him. "Now, you're first class doesn't start until about twenty minutes, so I think I'll have an adequate amount of time to show you around, and introduce you to some of your classmates."

After some boring minutes of seeing classrooms, and mindless babble, he started to find people for me to meet.

"Now, this girl is beyond hazardous." He started to say. "She's my sister, Alli Bhandari." He held my back and slightly pushed me towards her. "Alli, this is Amanda, the new girl around here."

"Hi Manda!" She said excitedly. "It's so nice to meet you." She hugged me. "Wow! You smell like raspberries."

"Thanks." I held back a comment that oh so wished it could depart my mouth.

"Well, on to the next one, I shall say." Sav said. "Alli has a crush on that Drew Torres guy over there." He whispered. My eyes searched around. Of course it would be the guy with all of the girls around him. He wasn't even that cute. He reminded me of Dylan. I stopped thoughts from terrorizing my mind before we saw the next people. A girl with cute, curly hair with a guy with dark black hair. They seemed cute together. "Now, this is Clare Edwards, and Eli Goldsworthy. Guys, this is Amanda." He smiled at them. Through this entire trip, Sav hardly let go of my lower back. It kind of made me think I'll have a 'thing' with him. I wouldn't doubt it. Whenever I looked up at him, I swear he was looking down to my bra.

"Hi. I'm Clare. I'm sure well be great friends." She nodded. She was keeping a good hold on her books, so I didn't worry about any contact.

"As the pres said, I'm Eli." He stuck his hand out, waiting for the shake.

"Hey, how about a fist bump? I'm afraid my hand will get whiplash with all of this shaking." I joked. They laughed with me, and the bell rang.

"Ok, on to your first class." He said while nodding with appreciation to Clare and Eli. I realized that our steps were synchronized. He stopped me at the door and put his hand on the wall above me. "I'll meet you after every class, _right here_. It's a job perk. Although I start to go away after the third day when you start to get a hang of it."

"Well, thank you. I'm glad that this school is just so organized with new kids." I said to him. I swear this kid could have magical powers to lure me in.

"And, I'll give you something at the end of the day. Almost as a 'job well done'" He sated, looking right into my eyes.

I snickered lightly and walked into the classroom.


	3. Chapter 3

The classes were boring. I saw guys looking down my shirt endlessly though. I didn't really mind. I don't really care about those things. I paid attention, and took notes. During third hour, though, the teacher told me to get up in front of my class and tell about myself.

I waltzed up to the front and center. "My full name is Amanda Hope McDonald. But, anything will just be fine to call me." I looked at the teacher.

"Any pets? Family members? _Boyfriend?_" She asked.

"No pets. I have my dad as my family because..." I drifted off. "Well, to say bluntly, my mom is in prison, my brother died, and my step-mom killed herself. I don't have a boyfriend."

"Oh my word. I hope you are okay." She came over to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Really, I never feel sorry for myself for loosing all of those people because I know somewhere there's a little kid out there with no mom, dad, brothers, sisters, or anyone to take care of them." I explained. And, on the inside, it was truly how I felt.

"That's a good way to think of things." She smiled at me. "Well, I think we know enough now, and we should get on with the lesson. Go ahead and sit back down."

When I sat down, I saw a guy in a dark grey shirt staring at me. He was sitting right beside me. He looked like a skater-boy. He turned his attention on his paper as he was writing something. He folded it up, and threw it to me. It read,

**The name's KC Guthrie. Nice bra. (:**

I wrote back,

_Well thank you. (: _

**I want to know more about you. I'll sit by you at lunch.**

_Are you considering this a date, Mr. Guthrie?_

**Only if you want it to be. ;)**

The bell rang and I smiled at the "date" I had already. When I came out, I saw Sav, once again.

"You know, I don't think that I could get tired of seeing your face." He sweetly stated.

"Should I take that as a compliment?" I smiled.

"Of course." He grinned beside me.

When it was time for lunch, Sav taught me the ways of the cafeteria. He must have told Alli, Clare, Eli, and KC to save us spots because they were surely waiting for us.

"Wow, I haven't sat by my own brother at lunch since I was a 'minor niner'." Alli joked.

"Oh hush it. I'm helping out Amanda. I can't say how bad she must have it. Being a new kid…"He drifted off.

KC completed his sentence, "And losing your brother, step-mom…"

Sav looked intrigued. "What?" He asked.

"That's what she told us in English." KC declared.

"Wow. Manda, mind telling the rest of us what you said?" Sav asked.

"Umm… Ok. Well, basically everyone I love dies." The people around me looked shocked. "My life is full of bad things. My mom's in prison. The bad things started when I was 12. I got raped by my step brother. My step mom killed herself. When I was 13 I got pregnant with my boyfriend's baby. I had a miscarriage. Oh, see this ring?" They all nodded. "It was a promise ring to my boyfriend. He got killed in a car accident. I promise to him that I won't love anyone, for they get killed. That's the new reason for this piece of silver. Oh, and my brother and his girlfriend got killed."

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry." Sav said as he hugged me.

"Don't be. I'm fine as fine can be. Everything I've been through has made me stronger. I don't regret it.

"It must be really hard for you. I thought I had it bad by living in a group home." KC explained.

"Yeah, somewhat, I guess. My dad is a drunkie, so I never have to live by the rules. It's pretty fun, actually."

"Here, I'll give you my number. I can't even imagine..." Clare said as she wrote her number on the little pink notepad. She handed it to me. "Just in case you need someone to talk to."

"Thanks." I said as I put it in my pocket. "Now I want to hear about you guys. How about your exes?"

"I used to go out with Clare." KC said.

Alli started, "Sav went out with that dark haired girl over there. Her name's Anya, and-"

"Alli! Nuh-uh! We don't need details." Sav scolded her.

"Okay. Well, I went out with Johnny…he's already graduated, so you won't be seeing him around here. Oh, and Dave has a crush on me. On the flipside, I like Drew." Alli poured out her words.

"I see, I see." I said as I bit into my apple.

"Do you think that you are up for answering people's questions? We sometimes do that with random people, to get to know them better." Sav asked.

"Sure. I'm guessing we have to go to the mic over there?" I basically asked.

"Yep. Come with me." He smiled and took my hand. "Hello fellow students, today we have another game of 'Getting to Know You Better'." People started clapping. "Today we have our new addition to the school, Amanda." He turned to me and whispered in my hair, "Tell your name, birthday, and favorite color."

"Hi. I'm Amanda. My birthday is December 6th and my favorite color is, well, the same as my shirt, dark purple."

"RELATIONSHIP STATUS?" Someone yelled.

"Single."

"JOB?"

"HAhaha, I don't have one."

"PHONE NUMBER?"

"Maybe you should figure that out from someone else." I said.

"I think that's enough for today. Thanks for participating." He said to me as I sat back down at my seat.

The rest of the school day dragged on. It was quite boring actually. At the end of last period, I rounded up my so called homework and put it in my backpack. Sav waited for me, right by my locker.

"Oh, some homework for the lovely lady?" He asked.

"Yeah. Oh hey, wait. You said you were going to give me something!" I stated as we walked out the front door.

"Yep, I will do as promised." He took out a piece of paper. "Here you go."

It had his name and number on it.

"Well, thank you." I thought for a moment. "Hey, do you want to come over to my house tonight? You can stay for the whole night if you want. My dad's going to be zonked out anyways."

"You sure?" He asked, excitedly.

I nodded my head. His eyes locked on me. He put his hands around my hips, and intertwined his fingers together behind my back. I knew what was going to happen next. He pulled me in to him, and I could feel his body heat. It was amazing. My heart raced, as I pulled my face up towards his. His lips finally met mine, and it was almost like an electrical shock. I didn't care who stared. This guy was an awesome kisser. I finally pulled away from out kiss, and looked at his chest. He was wearing a waffle long-sleeved shirt, and it was dark blue.

"Mr. President, you sir are a great kisser." I said.

He sighed in happiness, and put his arm around my shoulders. We started walking to my house.


	4. Chapter 4

**(A/N: We get a little bit raunchy in this one, so if you are a thing against 'lemons' then click the little X. Oh, btw, I didn't rate it in M because it's not constant. Thanks!)**

Sav decided he wanted some coffee before going to my house, so we stopped at 'the dot.' I stood beside him, not wanting anything. I've never liked coffee. I thought it was a waste of time. I mean, you could run around, and just wake up. Sav talked to people he knew, and I gazed out the window. I think I heard the word 'girlfriend' in there somewhere. I don't think he could qualify me as his girlfriend already. I only do hook ups. Nothing more, or less. I guess we started walking out when I realized KC was staring at me.

When we got close to my house, Sav asked, "Are you sure your dad isn't going to freak out?"

"No! Have a little faith in me for once." I said, remembering back when I was 15 and I basically brought a new guy home every night. My father, even though he was drunk, was polite and said his hellos to the guys before we made our way to the bedroom. He didn't care anymore. As long as I wasn't pregnant, or loud, then he was practically oblivious.

I took out my keys to the tiny white house and put the key in. "Turn to the right? Nope, the left." I reminded myself. I opened the door, and my dad wasn't in view. I guess he must be in his room. I'm lucky because my room is on the opposite side of the house, and downstairs. I grabbed Sav's hand and took him to the stairs. I educated him on which ones were squeaky and the ones that were unstable. Once we got off the last step, we took a right, through the laundry room, and through my bathroom, which lead straight into my room. I had a huge picture of Audrey Hepburn in 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'. I thought she was so beautiful. My room was dark pink on the east side, lime green on the west, black with splattered pink, green, and bright orange on the north, and the south was bright orange. I really liked it. I put my bag on the green fluffy chair. When I looked at Sav, he was looking through my drawers of clothes.

"Hey now, snoopy." I scolded him and closed the drawer. He beamed at me, and put his hands on my hips. I put my hands on his arms. I could tell that he had his eyes on my full-sized bed. I began stepping us backwards towards the destination. I let us fall backwards onto the mattress. I could tell in his eyes that he was getting excited. He kissed me with a passion as I felt down his chest and back. I got under his shirt and started taking it off. He sat up momentarily and threw his shirt on the ground. He smirked and crashed his lips to mine. His hands moved towards the buttons I had in the front. I silently giggled when he messed up and couldn't get one unfastened. I helped him out and undid the ones on the bottom. Once he got the shirt wide open, he smiled. I'm sure he smiled because of the bra. He slid the blouse on the floor and felt all around. He sucked my neck while his hands wandered to other places. My breathing became faster. I knew by the way it felt, there was going to be a hickie left in its place. I can promise you that wasn't the first one to be held right there. He placed kisses from my collar bone down to the top my jeans. He looked back up at me…almost as he was making sure it was alright. I slightly nodded, and he started to unzip my jeans. I could tell this guy hasn't gotten any action in a while.

**((A/N: Okay, I did a little bit, but it is not my forte.))**

After we were done with having fun he looked at his phone.

"Oh shit." He stated, furiously typing something into his phone.

"What? What's going on?" I asked.

"Just be quiet." He told me as he stood up, put his boxers on, and called someone on the phone. "Mom?" He asked, pacing the room. "Peter's in town for tonight. Do you mind if I crash at his place for tonight? No, no, homework. Yeah, I'll get to school. Yeah, of course. I love you too mom. Goodnight." He sighed and glanced at his phone. "_That _was close. I hope you or your father doesn't mind."

"Of course not...You drunk?" I laughed.

"Drunk off of you, baby." He smiled, and snuggled with me in my bed. I stared at his face, and quickly kissed him.

"I'm hungry." I stated. I sat up on my bed, gathered up my clothes and ran to my bathroom to freshen up. I took out my foundation and placed it on my face. Blush, eyeliner, and a touch of mascara finished my look. I put my clothes on and went back in my room. Sav looked like he was sleeping. I knew what I was going to do.

I ran and straddled Sav and started bouncing on top of him. He immediately opened his eyes and began cackling. He started to tickle me, and I fell backwards on my bed, near Sav's feet. He climbed on top of me and didn't loosen up on the tickling situation.

"I surrender! I surrender!" I screamed, with hardly a breath. He sighed in satisfaction, and grinned at me. "I'd like a little warning before you do that to me next time." I stated as I guided him towards upstairs. Kitchen was clear…oddly, because dad always ate around this time. I shrugged it off, and opened the fridge. "Sav, the only thing we had that's edible is lunchmeat." I said a looked back at him. I didn't see him at first, because I swore he was right behind me.

"Oh, what's this?" He asked sarcastically, holding up dad's booze.

"You're into that stuff?" I leaned my head in and furrowed my brow.

"Sometimes, here I'll take it to your room as you get the sandwiches ready." He said while walking towards the door. 'That's weird,' I thought. I put everything I normally do on mine and dragged the 2 plates to my room. Sav already initiated the drinking, so I put the sandwich on his lap, and stole the bottle and put it in the bathroom for now. I plopped myself beside and turned the TV on to ICarly, because I never got sick of that show. He put his right arm around my waist, and gnawed it down.

"Alright, time to party!" Sav declared.


End file.
